The Gamble Family (.Net)

We’ve heard it said that as our parents grow older, they become our children. This saying has recently become a reality in my life. My mom, who lived alone (my dad passed away 4 1/2 years back) in a house that she has lived in for the past 33 years, has become unable to safely take care of herself.

I had noticed that my mom’s (age 82) physical and mental health had been declining over the last 2 years. I had also noticed that during the last six months, the decline had accelerated such that she is unable to extend her arms above her head, she is unable to lift common pots and pans, and she is unable to recall things that took place earlier in the day. This is alarming when you consider that she lives alone, she has no family close to help her, and that I am her only child (who lives 320 miles away).

On Friday March 11th, around midnight, my mom fell in her home and fractured her shoulder. I was contacted by her neighbor early the following morning about the situation. So, I drove to her home to see what was going on. After a trip to the family doctor, we were told that she had fractured her shoulder and that she was not to lift anything for six weeks. At this point, we packed her clothes and I brought her to our home for the next few weeks.

During the days that immediately followed, I became painfully aware as to how much my mom’s health has declined. As a result, my wife and I began researching assisted living communities in our home town. We were fortunate enough that one of the nices ones is located less than a mile from our house. So, after many difficult conversations with my mom, my wife and I finally convinced her that it was time for her to make the change.

This past weekend, my wife and I spent Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon moving furniture into and setting up everything in mom’s new room. The room looked quite nice after we finished. It is large enough to hold her queen-size bed, dresser, and chest of drawers on one side, and a love seat, rocking chair, bookshelf, TV, and small Lazy Boy on the other side. So, all in all, we were all very pleased.

My mom and I arrived at the community around 10:15 today to get her started in her new home. We met with the administrator to finalize the many forms that had to be signed; We met with the family counselor who explained the daily routine; and we met with the health care administrator who explained all of the remaining details of the community. What an overwhelming day! I took three pages of notes, so I’m sure that my mom was completely beyond comprehension of all that was going on. After all of the introductions and instructions, my mom and I had lunch together before I left her at 1:30.

Up until today, the day that we buried my dad was the most difficult day that I had experienced in my 48 years on this earth. Leaving my mom alone in her room today was equally, if not more, difficult. I’m sure that I would be safe in saying that there is not a single person who looks forward to leaving their home and giving up their independence by moving into an assisted living community. I know that this is not what my mom wants, but I also know that I have a responsibility to do all that I can to insure that she is safe during the remaining years of her life.

So, today - April 18, 2005 - becomes one of those days in my life that serves as a marker, along with the day that I met my wife, the day that we got married, the day that our son was born, and the day that we buried my father. Wonderful days - sad days. Beautiful memories - sad memories. All of them, the things that make up time that we spend that is called “Our lifetime”.