The Gamble Family (.Net)

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said, “Implants?” She hit me.

4. I don’t do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.

5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea…”

6. I live in my own little world. But it’s OK. They know me here.

7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

9. I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead’s.

11. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I have stayed alive.

14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

15. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?

17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been!”

19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn…that was fun!”

20. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

21. When I was young we used to go “skinny dipping,” now I just “chunky dunk.”

22. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

23. Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

24. Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over?

25. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

26. My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that’s what he said).

27. Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

28. Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

29. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!

30. Wouldn’t you know it…Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

31. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?

Bumper sticker of the year:
“If you can read this, thank a teacher…and since it’s in English, thank a soldier.”

~ by Anonymous ~

First, let me say that I do not approve of the news media looking over the shoulders of our US military as they do battle in foreign lands. I do not feel that the media should have a “front row box seat” view of each and every word, thought, action, gesture, and emotion that our fighting forces exhibit on the battlefield. The media should cover our troops in battle, but they should not be allowed to report on every “dot and tittle” of what goes on. Some would say that my opinion violates the First Amendment right of Freedom of the Press, that it represents censorship.

I do respect the right of the US public to know what is going on with our troops, and I feel that the media is entitled to report on daily happenings of our fighting forces. I do not, however, like cameras and microphones being poked into every private discussion and undertaking, all in the name of what the media would have you believe as being “newsworthy coverage of the war”, similar to the way the paparazzi covers celebrities.

Yes, we have a right to know about the wartime activities that our President has committed us to. But, there are things - dark things, yet necessary things - that go on during wartime that the public is better off not knowing about, for reasons of national security as well as for the honor of those serving. Consider the fear that gets struck in the hearts of families at home when they see an intense firefight on television. War is brutal. Brutal actions and operations are necessary to defeat an entrenched enemy. Wars are not fought and won with elegant words or decided over a polite game of Chess. Wars are fought with horrendous vengeance. Navy Seals, Delta Force, Rangers, Dark Ops, Snipers- you might not like them, you might not approve of their tactics - but it is likely that we would all be amazed to know how many rescues they have performed or how many lives they have saved. Yes, fellow Americans and peace lovers, like it or not, you need these people on watch when you go to sleep at night.

Jack Nicholson as General Jessup in “A Few Good Men” stated it very succinctly:

"Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don’t want the truth because, deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said ‘thank you’ and went on your way. Otherwise I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand at post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to."

To me there are two responsibilities of the media in their coverage of war. First, it is the responsibility of the media, above everything else, to report the absolute truth - nothing more, nothing less. Having said that, the media has a secondary responsibility to do everything within it’s power rally the public in support of our troops, whether we agree with the war effort (and the reasoning behind that effort) or not. Our military does not declare war - congress does. Our military does not send itself into battle on foreign soil - the President of the Untied States issues that order. So, whether you agree with who we are fighting and why we are fighting them, our military, whose lives are on the line, deserve our unwavering support.

The recently released photos of flag-draped coffins being transported back to the United States strike deep into the heart of the price of war. These photos demonstrate the sobering truth and tragedy of the loss of American Soldiers. Photos such as these MUST reach the public eye. They remind us of the high cost of freedom, and the honor and dignity with which our US troops serve, as stated in Toby Keith’s song, “American Soldier”:

"And I will always do my duty
no matter what the price.
I’ve counted up the cost.
I know the sacrifice.
Oh, and I don’t want to die for you,
but if dyin’s asked of me,
I’ll bare that cross with honor
’cause freedom don’t come free."

Photos such as these should serve to temper our knee-jerk reaction to “just suit up and go kick somebody’s ass because we don’t agree with how they live their lives.” The sacrifice of human life in the name of defending freedom deserves much more thought - no, thought is too light a word - it requires much more debate, discussion, soul searching before we submit our soldiers as sacrificial offerings to enemy gunfire. Human life is so very sacred to me; I dearly love this country. I served in the US Navy. I was, and still am, willing to defend her to my death. Even though casualties are expected and inevitable in war, we must never forget the value of those lives, and the families that they leave behind, as they go off to defend our soil.

The next time you see a member of our Armed Forced on the street, walk up to him and tell him “Thank You”. Let him know that you appreciate the work that he does. Let him know that you recognize the unselfish sacrifice that he makes for you. The typical enlisted men and women in our Armed Forces make less than $20,000 a year, and yet they stand ready to give their lives in order to defend yours, so that you can sleep soundly at night.

1. When the outside temperature is less than 70, your non-riding co-workers will greet you in the morning with, “You didn’t ride today, did you?”

2. The car you are following will drive precisely one mile an hour slower than you and the car behind you wants to drive 5 miles an hour faster than you.

3. The police officer who pulls you over is the only one on the force who hates motorcycles.

4. You will be forced to follow the only 18 wheeler on the road, when there is just enough water on the road to create spray.

5. Bad things come out from under the car in front of you.

6. Two days after you wash your bike, some guy will use his entire washer fluid reservoir to clean three inches of muck off of his windshield directly in front of you.

7. The most dangerous thing on the road is a young mother, in an SUV with a back seat full of car seats, gabbing on the cell phone that is surgically implanted in her ear.

8. You can be 10 feet long, have half a million candlepower laser beams for headlights, be loud enough to rattle windshields on the other side of the freeway and that little old lady will still say, “Honest Officer, I never saw him. I hope he isn’t hurt too bad?”

9. Buying new tires guarantees that within two days you will need to avoid some idiot in a car and scrub 500 miles off your tires as you power slide.

10. In the world of sandpaper, asphalt is three grit and concrete is five.

11. Concrete is exactly as hard as it looks.

12. Road gators and potholes have an unnatural attraction to your bike.

13. Car brake lights are actually ranging devices that inform the driver how close you are and only work when you glance away.

14. Aluminum ladders and five gallon plastic buckets are never tied down in the back of pickup trucks.

15. Traffic will always start moving again, just as you decide to pull over and turn off your bike.

16. When cars cut you off, it is always your fault.

17. Weekend riders will tell you, “I always ride in the rain.”

18. Wet leaves and wet railroad tracks will kill you.

19. New bikers never wave back.

20. For Texas riders, June Bugs are .45 cal and grasshoppers are 30.06.

21. Gravity is not your friend.

~ by Anonymous ~

It always happens when I’m in one of two possible situations - Either riding down the interstate (or any multi-lane highway) or simply stopped at a stoplight with an additional lane of traffic either on my left or right. I’m looking ahead, focusing on “the ride”, and all of a sudden I feel it. Eyes - staring at me, looking at me, longing for what I have.

My first impulse is to simply ignore the feeling of being stared at and just keep focused ahead - then - I just have to give in to vanity. I look over and their it is: A minivan - soccer mom driving - husband in the passenger seat. I notice that look in HIS eyes. It’s a sad look. It’s a pitiful look. I love that look. It’s the look of a sad puppy looking out the front window of its house as its owners leave in the car with all the windows rolled down.

I know in this guy’s mind he’s thinking, “What I’d give for one of those.” The wife’s sitting next to him, driving, probably has Opra on the radio. She’s going on and on about getting her hair done, picking up the kids from ballet practice, her meeting with the garden club, blah, blah, blah. He just sits there - looking, longing, wanting, drooling. Me - I just sit there with a slight smirk on my face and think to myself, “In your dreams, mister!”

Ford Motor Company is celebrating the 40th anniversary of the Mustang this year. We in Middle Tennessee were privileged to have the Mustangs Across America Convoy stop in our area this weekend. Over 300 Mustangs gathered at the Nashville Super Speedway this past Thursday through Sunday.

Being a former Mustang owner, I was excited about the prospects of seeing early vintage Shelbies, Mach 1s, and Boss 302s. I was not disappointed. My wife and I went to see the “Pony Cars” on Sunday afternoon. We arrived at the show around 1:15 PM. The show was scheduled to close shortly after 3 PM, so some of the cars and vendors had already packed up and left. We were not disappointed, however. There were plenty of Shelby GTs, Boss 302s, and Mach 1s for all to see. The Charlie Daniels Band was also performing. Their Southern music was just the icing on the cake to make for a great afternoon.

I don’t know what it is about the ‘67 - ‘70 vintage of the Mustang that attracts me so much. Maybe it’s because I had a light blue ‘69 2-door sedan when I was 16. Maybe it’s the fact that those years epitomize speed and muscle car appearance, at least to me, anyway. I’m not sure, but whatever it is, the fact that these cars continue to attract such a following and bring such high prices as collectibles speaks very highly of Ford’s engineering from the “Hippy Era”.

Walking around looking at the cars that had been so meticulously restored took me back in time to my youth. It was a time in my life when I had no cares, other than how was I going to pay for the next tank of gas (which was about $0.29 a gallon, by the way) or how could I convince some pretty young girl that she “really should go for a ride” with me in the Mustang. At that time (1972), I was a 16 year-old southern boy living in Columbus, GA. I didn’t have project deadlines to keep me up at night. I had no bills. Mom and dad kept me fed and clothed. As I looked at the interior of those cars, I was transported back to when I was a teenager cruising around town in the hot Georgia summertime. I could still feel the heat of bright Georgia sun as I drove around town with the windows rolled down and the wind blowing through my hair. The smell of the hot vinyl seats and old carpet was still as I remember it. I remembered how my back got soaking wet from the heat of sitting in the car, even in the shade with a cool breeze blowing.

My ‘69 Mustang was extremely plain. It had the stock 302 engine with a 2 barrel carburetor, an AM radio, and no air conditioning. It was an ugly light blue color; but the color seemed fine to me at the time. I paid $1,400 for it. Well, actually my parents paid $700 and I paid $700. When I got it in 1972, it had 69,000 miles on it. I can still remember the day when I put 70-series Cooper tires on the rear. Man, was I excited. About the only other addition that I managed was the chrome hood pins that I got from Victory Auto Parts. These modest additions seem so trivial today, where people spend tens of thousands of dollars adding Nitrous Oxide boosters, DVD players, video games, and superchargers. But, for a 16-year old southern boy, I was content with my car. After all, it was paid for. I meticulously read every page of Hot Rod and Road and Track magazines. I dreamed about adding a Holley 4-barrel carb, some Cragar SS mags, 60-series raised white letter tires, Hooker headers, glass packs, a kicking stereo, and all of the other performance gadgets that were available in the early 70s. But, for a 16-year old with no job, those things would have to wait until another day.

I traded the Mustang in for a ‘74 Vega GT in late 1973. I don’t know where my beloved pony car is today. It is my hope that it is still alive and well. I hope that someone found it on a used car lot somewhere, took it home, and restored it; maybe even added some of those goodies that I dreamed about installing. Why don’t they make cars like that anymore?

Pictures of some of the Mustangs that we saw:

‘68 Shelby GT

‘68 Shelby GT

‘68 Shelby GT

‘69 Mach 1

‘70 Fastback

‘70 Boss 302